"Our highest calling is tightly nestled
right behind our core fear...
If you were playing it safe and
ignoring your calling, the ego would
have nothing to lose". - Rebecca Campbell,
Light is the new Black
Fear is a strong, intense energy. It can be felt in degrees and also in a diversity of ways - from butterflies in our stomach, to a creepy prickling on the back of our neck, to an uneasiness in our temples right through to deeply terrifying horror and bone weary dread. Fear has the potential to hold us back from many life experiences, to keep us small, trapped in our comfort zones and tricking us into feelings of powerlessness.
I have known fear intimately. The type of fear that makes us feel we are not good enough unless we meet certain impossible standards and expectations. Fear that can make us feel worthless and less than if we have not achieved enough. Fear that grips our mind and takes over all rationality, hope and self-kindness. Fear that is dark, scary, nasty and relentless.
Yet - I have also learnt that fear can be an indication of something else, and if we are able to hold ourselves separate from it for just a moment, it can be a sign that we are on the right path. Fear could actually be our ego's way of telling us we are growing, taking on new lessons and expanding our lives.
The script of the ego is relentless, it is fear based and is often rooted in core narratives we have about ourselves which developed in childhood. Even though it may sound mean and critical, all the ego really wants to do is protect us. It wants us to stay small as it’s scared of the consequences of us stepping into our biggest, brightest, boldest self (understandably, because when we live from this place, our ego loses a lot of its control and significance).
This made so much sense.
This interpretation of fear means the further I walk along my soul path and live my boldest most authentic life, the more resistance my ego will throw up which translates into feelings of doubt, anxiety, confusion, resistance - and a thought pattern that runs something like this:
I'm not saying it is easy when these fears arise - most of the time it’s really tough, these are huge fears that shake us to our very core. They destabilise us emotionally and drain us energetically. But if we can take the perspective that they are arising because we are on the right path - to me, it offers some peace.
What can we do when these fears arise?
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Amanda is a (reformed) lawyer turned holistic life coach, self-care advocate, workshop facilitator, writer, speaker, avid reader, nature lover, chai tea drinker and mother to a curious, active toddler. A spirit seeker who loves connecting with others on journeys of self-discovery, Amanda believes we can all find our own version of success and live an empowered life.