I recently returned to my job in HR after 12 months maternity leave. I enjoy my job, it allows me to help people and being an extrovert (albeit one VERY sensitive to other people's energies) I am pleased with the adult interaction. I've also been lucky enough to go back part-time at the moment so I can also focus on my business (massive shout out to the mums doing it full time at the moment, I honestly don't know how you do it - love and respect to you x).
I won't lie, it has been a struggle and a real transition going back to work.
My perspective on life has changed considerably since becoming a mother, and as I'm working towards being able to be of service as a spiritual life coach on a full-time basis, my attention is often being pulled in different directions.
Starting day care has also meant my son has been sick almost every week since I've been back at work. My friends tell me this is completely normal, and I'm lucky that my workplace (and husband) are both pretty flexible and supportive. But even they have limits.
I just can't seem to shake the feeling that no matter what I do I'm letting somebody down.
If I need to take a day off work to look after my sick son, I'm letting my clients down. If I need to work on my business on the weekend I'm not spending time with my husband. If I take some time out to catch up with my friends or exercise I'm guilty as I'm not spending time with my son. There just isn't enough time or energy for it all!
The pressure, guilt, expectation and exhaustion became too much recently and I found myself in a pretty bad place (read: lots of tears). It was an intense time, but also a huge wake-up call for me. I realised I wasn't 'walking my talk' and making my own self care a priority. I realised that nothing would work properly unless I was really looking after myself. And I realised I need to do this despite the guilt.
This has been a huge shift for me - I am now taking myself seriously, listening to my feelings and being open to my intuition - and although I still need to choose to have this perspective every day, when I do, I really notice the difference.
Amanda is a (reformed) lawyer turned holistic life coach, self-care advocate, workshop facilitator, writer, speaker, avid reader, nature lover, chai tea drinker and mother to a curious, active toddler. A spirit seeker who loves connecting with others on journeys of self-discovery, Amanda believes we can all find our own version of success and live an empowered life.