At various times over the last few weeks, I have been triggered by external circumstances, old emotional patterns have resurfaced, my ego has been running a fear campaign and I've felt like either confronting everything and everyone or running away and giving everything up.
I've felt scared, overwhelmed, like a fraud, insecure, sad, anxious, bewildered, nervous, wired - I've cried uncontrollably in overwhelm and frustration and basically felt I've been having a weird, roller coaster breakdown like I'm smack bang in the middle of 2010 trying to navigate my way out all over again.
It was only in the last few days that one of my dear spiritual teachers and healers pointed out that a lot of people are feeling this way at the moment - and one reason for this could be because of a massive shift in collective energy and consciousness we are currently experiencing (if you're curious about spiritual concepts, you may find this read interesting http://www.sophiebashford.com/). During times of growth and change, we may need to bring up old, emotional patterns and conditioning - which have held us hostage all these years (and which we may have thought were healed, goddamnit!) - so that we are ready to embrace our full potential. We need to make space for the light to enter.
Mercifully - as well as sadness and chaos, these last few weeks have brought glimpses of triumph, inner strength and determination, unbridled joy, connection, love, trust, expansiveness and growth. I've felt supported and experienced deep gratitude for the amazing people in my life who have comforted, buoyed and held space for me in practical, emotional and spiritual ways. (Once again proving the absolutely vital step is creating a trusted support network and asking for help - even if the asking comes from a place of vulnerability, in fact, especially then).
It is with this grateful heart that I look towards the adventures that are to come, feeling a sense of peace and inner calm as well as excitement for the new year, where anything is possible!
Amanda is a (reformed) lawyer turned holistic life coach, self-care advocate, workshop facilitator, writer, speaker, avid reader, nature lover, chai tea drinker and mother to a curious, active toddler. A spirit seeker who loves connecting with others on journeys of self-discovery, Amanda believes we can all find our own version of success and live an empowered life.